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Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Axel Edward

 

 
Lets just clear something up before we get started... No, we are not hipsters... Yes, we named our son Axel... No, it is not because of Guns and Roses!  Axel Edward was my Swedish Great Grandfather on my mother's side.  I never met him but he was much loved by my grandmother and my mother.  His son, my great Uncle was also Axel Edward although he went by Ed... and his son, my mother cousin, is also Axel Edward but goes by Eddie.  Edward is also the middle name of my Grandfather on my dads side, Walter Edward.  As well as Daddy Jon himself, Jonathan Edward.   Basically his name covers every side of the whole fam damily!  Axel Edward as been at the top of our boy list since we found out we were preggos with Leighton back in 2010.  Luckily we had a boy this go round because Jon and I could not agree on a girls name to save our lives!
 
I'll share sweet baby boys birth story for prosperity’s sake... but if you want to skip it his newborn photos are posted below.  Well, having a baby doesn't always go as planned and our newest addition is the perfect example of that!  Here is the story of his unexpected, but should have been expected, entry into this world!

This kid had been breech the entire pregnancy. Everyone kept saying, “just give it time, he will turn."  Well at 37 weeks he hadn't turned and my doctor said, let's talk about your options.  I told her, #1 I don't what a c section since I have already ruined my lady bits having two normal deliveries so why ruin my stomach now.… and #2 I don't want to do anything to potentially harm my child.  She told me that I had contradicted myself, so a C section was planned. 

My due date was the 17th (I thought it was the 15th) and I tried to talk my doctor into a cesarean on May 5th... Can you imagine the cute but racist kids birthday parties with piñatas, tacos, mini mustaches attached to straws, tres leches cake with margaritas and cervezas for the parents?!  How awesome, right?!  Well, my doctor didn't agree and would only come down to the 6th and refused the 5th, because it was too early.... Augh! So after some back and forth we agreed on a scheduled C section on May 10th.  5/10/15.... Still a pretty cool potential birthday date!

Everything was going fine, life was busy, some girlfriends surprised me with a baby shower brunch and a new baby swing....amazing!  At this brunch we talked about babies and birth and I mentioned how I was nervous about going into labor because I had never actually "gone into labor.”  I had been induced with both girls and had only felt contractions with Leighton.  One friend said, you are crazy and you will know you are in labor. 

Skip ahead to the end of that week.... May 7th and I am at a 4th birthday party with the girls. My friends are asking how I am holding up and I reply with, fine but I feel a little "off.”  I didn't know what exactly was off, but my body just didn't feel normal.  As I was driving home from the party and talking to Jon on the phone, I had my first big contraction of this story.  I breathed through it and kept on heading home.  I probably had one full-on contraction every hour until bedtime.  I texted my friend, Rhonda, and she insisted that I call the nurses’ line at the hospital, so I obliged.  I explained the situation to the nurse in the phone and she suggested I come in only because the baby was breech.  Better safe than sorry, right?!  So at midnight I put my bag in the car and drove myself to hospital..... Yes, I drove myself to Axel's birth!  It's not Jon's fault as I insisted that the baby wasn't coming.... and our helper, Gina, was off that night and the next day and we didn't want to bother our "on-call friends" since it was so late at night in a situation that we weren't sure was even happening!

I got to the hospital a little after midnight and a midwife hooked me up to the monitoring machine for an hour.  It appeared that I was having contractions although they weren't "too strong" and were very irregular.  However, they did an ultrasound and baby boy was still breech so they went ahead and admitted me.  I then had to walk to the ER and check myself in and come back to my room after doing so.  On the way back to labor and delivery after checking in, I had a super strong contraction and I should have known then that this show was on the road.  I got back to the room about 1:30 and after another strong contraction and getting checked, it turns out I was 3 cm dilated.  I texted Jon that he might want to wake up our friends and have them come down so he could head to the hospital.  Jon made it to the hospital around 3-3:30.   Around 4:00 the nurses decided to unhook me from the machines and let me get some rest (funny joke) and to use the restroom.  As I was peeing I had a ton of pressure and thought, shit I am going to be one of these ladies that has a baby on the toilet!  Of course I didn't have the baby on the toilet and made it back to the bed.  The midwife said, push the button if your contractions are more than 10 minutes apart and then she left. 

A few minutes later I had a small contraction and only a few minutes passed before the next one.  Jon insisted that I push the button, but I told him the contractions weren’t strong enough.  After another one he got up and pushed the damn button himself.  The midwife came in and I asked her to check my progress..... She said that she needed a "medical reason" to check my cervix, so I calmly responded with, “I am telling you to check and that is reason enough!” 

Fifteen minutes later she came back and checked me, looked at me very seriously and said, "Do you feel pressure?" When I said yes, she left the room without a word!  A minute later the head midwife entered the room with two nurses that started to set up the room for delivery.  The boss then proceeded to go elbow deep into my lady bits to see if the baby had turned head down or not..... If there was ever a time in my life I wanted to punch someone in the face, this was it.  Oh my god!!! As she was getting to know my insides better, the midwife just kept saying, "yeah, I'm about 99.9% sure he has flipped. Yep, I think he has flipped (now she was beyond violating me) um, maybe 99% sure... I think". Jesus help me.... !

The younger midwife then walked over to me and said, "you are about to have this baby." I then asked when I was going to get my epidural..... She slightly smiled and said it was too late to get one.  I laughed directly in her face and told her to call the on-call anesthesiologist and I would cross my legs until he arrived.  That's when she handed me the gas and air (aka laughing gas) and showed me how to use it. I looked at Jon and almost started crying and said, "This can NOT be happening.... FUCK ME!" Sadly it was happening!  Literally 5-10 minutes later my doctor walking into the room, we shared a few words and then I had the end all be all of contractions which caused my water to break... I closed my eyes and didn't open them until it was all over!  All I remember is my doctor yelling at the midwifes and insisting on gloves, feeling like I was about to break Jon's hand because I was squeezing it so hard, and the glorious gas and air mask that muffled my yells of pain.....

 
Three minutes later Axel entered the world fast, healthy and head first! Just like that it was over..... I guess my body decided it was okay to let go as soon as I saw my doctor. 

Axel Edward was born on May 8th, 2015 at 5 something in the morning.... he was 21 inches long (I think) and 7.2 pounds (maybe).  At the time of this post I couldn't find the paperwork that lists his stats...  I promise to enter them correctly into his baby book.... whenever I get around to buying it! poor third kid!

I never planned for it to happen this way and I totally and openly judge other moms who choose not to have an epidural.  It is 2015.... Not 1815.... Use modern medicine to your advantage ladies!  Well, now I am part of the natural birth club.   I will say although it truly sucked, I survived to tell the story(or maybe a month later I have just blocked it all out)!  I cannot imagine going through that pain for 30 minutes, let alone hours.... But three minutes was totally doable and I will wear that natural birth medal with pride!  We do get a medal right? I was going to hang it proudly next to my marathon medal.... please tell me I get something.... right?  anyone... bueller..... bueller.... nothing, only a healthy child, damn it!

So what have I learned from this whole process?  You have to be your own advocate and listen to your body!!!! No one knows your body like you do (and apparently I don't listen to mine).  I knew I had fast labors, I knew the last two times my body went from 2 cm to fully dilated in about an hour and that was with being induced.  I knew during the last two deliveries my contractions were never "strong" (like 50-70 on the machine when most ladies are 100+ in active labor).  So, I should have known to be my own advocate and insist on an epidural when I was at 3cm. I should have been my own advocate and insisted they call my doctor at the 3cm mark.  I trusted the nurses and midwives too much  and took their opinions into account at my own expense!  And even though I felt like I was clearly explaining my body's reaction to labor, I should have been more forceful in conveying that to the staff.  Jon claims that I am just too nice in these situations and don't want to inconvenience anyone..…Like my leg could be broken and I would still offer to take a friend’s kid on a bike ride, because I had previously agreed to do so.  On the other hand, I just like to think I have a high threshold for pain. The reality is probably somewhere in the middle.

 

Thank god everything went smoothly, Axel was born healthy, and this story has a happy ending! I still can't believe we have three kids.... I feel like Jon and I are still kids hanging out and partying in college.  Three freaking kids, wow.... How did this happen?! Yes, I know how it "happened" all you wise crackers out there (aka the Cumberworth's)!
 
I'll leave y'all with some of the photos from little buddy's photo shoot....
 

 


 

 


 
 
 
Now, those pictures of the three kids all together look adorable and everything appears to be natural and happy.  However, the reality was that Corby was screaming in between timeouts, Leighton was not listening to our prompting and the room was probably 90 degrees so Axel was comfortable.  Got to love Family photo shoots! 
 
Until Later...

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Leighton's Graduation

Leighton graduated from nursery school today.... How did this day come so fast?  It totally snuck up on me! It seems like yesterday that she was just my little roley poley little buddy that hopped around Dubai with me everyday... how can she be 4 and wearing a cap and gown?!?   I'm not going to lie, I totally started crying when I walked into her nursery room... I blame my hormones seeing as I have a three week old!  Anyways, I'll keep my sappy thoughts to myself and just share some pictures of her special day!

Gigi and Jon waiting patiently... Axel was sleeping. 
 
 Reciting a little Poem...
(I made Leighton say this poem to me all week so I wouldn't cry at the graduation..
yeah, that didn't work out so well) 



 
The Three Amigos

SHE DID IT! ;0)


 
We got to celebrate with Gigi (the best diaper changer and baby feeder I know)!
 


 
Shooting Star cupcakes!
 
Mrs. Lisa... Leighton LOVES her!  Apparently Lisa is the prettiest princess and her grandmother lives in a castle!  Leighton love Mrs. Lisa's little sister (aka her daughter) and wants to be best friends with her!  Greatest year ever!!!

 
Leighton and her husband, Sam

 
What are you doing kid? nice pose...

This marriage has lasted three years and is going strong!


 
Isla attack!!!

 
They are the BEST!


Corby wasn't too excited that Leighton will be going to another school next year! say it ain't so...
 
And because I wouldn't be doing my blog justice without posting something that makes fun of my kids... here is the winner of a picture I took during one of the songs they sang today....
I mean, really?  bless her heart! #BookofTodd
 
 
Until Later...

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Can you say, Fox Axel?

 
 


The dichotomy of parenting is a crazy thing... trying to be stern with a child, but still comforting.  The roles you play and the hats you wear all while trying not to screw up your kid for life is a challenge.  Meanwhile, all of this is happening while they are annoying the shit out of you and won't stop screaming in that high pitched, "I just saw a member of One Direction" tone.  Everyday I try my best to be a firm parent and teach them lessons that will hopefully make the future years of raising them easier for everyone involved..... Lay the right foundation now and we will have a strong and sturdy house built upon it one day.... Cheesy, but hopefully true.  And all of this is happening while I'm trying not to shake the shit out of them when they are driving me god damn crazy!  Sounds like we should be having a third kid, right? Right? Guess it's too late now!



Now don't get me wrong, parenthood is a daily struggle and challenge, but there are great moments every day as well. The first time your child smiles, when they really hug you hard and long, just hearing "I love you" out of their tiny mouths melting your heart, the way their faces light up when they spot you at school pick up, when they run to you when they are hurt, or the joy and pride they feel when showing you something they have made.



The challenges and rewards balance each other out at this point in the game for me..... Especially with our little white devil, Corby.  But, what makes parenthood worth it and what really pushes it over the edge of for me and Jon is the fun factor.  Parenting isn't always fun, but when it is, we try to make the best of it!  For instance, the first time your kid asks to "blow it up" with a fist bump.... Spinning them around until they almost puke.... Spontaneous family dance parties.... Playing witches and monsters as we run around the house screaming like crazies.... And making your kid cuss without them knowing.


Well, maybe the last one isn't fun for the kid, but Lord knows it is fun for me and Jon.  We did it to Leighton when she was little....fish = bitch.  Which was hilarious except when we would walk past the Dubai aquarium in the mall, it was a little bit embarrassing.  Corby now has a great repertoire of words that just get us going.  Many of you know that I have a teenie-tiny bit of a sailor's mouth, however, I am particularly good around my kids.  So hearing them use these words without knowing gives me a good chuckle!



Again, duality..... Making my kid cuss but the little smarty is counting to 14 by herself.... I clearly can't be doing everything wrong with her.  Now as soon as I turned my phone off, Corby proceeded to throw the red play-doh all over the room while screaming at me for God only knows why.  I spent the next 20 minutes dealing with a full on tantrum, three rounds of timeout and then finally breaking her and getting her to pick up the darn play-doh.  But if I hadn't have had that 2 mins of humor, I couldn't have fully dealt with the aftermath.

Parenting is a crazy hard thing.... But hearing your child say "fuck assholes" totally makes it worth it!

Until later....
 

Monday, April 13, 2015

Little Miss Four Eyes


        Leighton has always loved wearing fake glasses.... Maybe Jon and I should have realized a long time ago that it was her hint that she actually needed them! Well, if it was, we didn't pick up on it! This journey started one night when Jon and I were sitting with the girls while they were at dinner and we started getting goofy. Then Jon started crossing his eyes..... So Leighton started trying to cross her eyes, which was hilarious because she just kind of looked at her nose.  Well, skip ahead a few weeks and Leighton's left eye start to go a little funny....meaning turning into the center a little. We would tell her, "stop messing with your eyes." To which she would reply, "I can't control it!" We thought she was messing with us!  When I was pregnant with Leighton, Jon and I always used to joke that the universe would give us an eyeball with a single finger to drag itself around, because of all the inappropriate jokes we made (make) about people. So I figured, if Leighton isn't doing it on purpose then she has a lazy eye and the universe is just putting itself back into alignment.
      
      So, I then started asking my friends and her teacher if they noticed anything going on with her eyes and everyone said no. Then finally, one of my friends was with Leighton one day without me and she saw the lazy eye in full effect! Next, her teacher said she had noticed her eye go a little in when really focusing on an object. So off to the pediatric eye doctor we went.
   
      In typical Dubai fashion, it took over a month to get in, but we were so happy we did! Leighton is basically blind! Well, that's a little dramatic but girlfriend's eyesight is BAD. The first doctor we saw had her read charts from across the room..... With her right eye she could read a few charts and with her left eye she read only one chart. It was heartbreaking. We left with a hefty prescription of +5.5 in her right eye and +6.5 in her left!!! I know, right! She literally couldn't see.  So, off we went the eye glass store and a cool $500+ later, we had glasses! The glasses were the 2nd cheapest frames and middle of the range lenses, but what are you going to do? She needed glasses!
 
 
 
 Who knew the eye glass store could be so fun?!
 
Leighton has taken to her glasses like a fish to water! She loves wearing them and there was no bribing or pleading to get her to wear them.  She just put them on and hasn't really taken them off, but who can blame her?
 

 




 
      Yes, I do feel bad that she was so blind for so long, but I feel lucky that we caught it as early as we did! We just had her first check up and LC's doctors could not be more pleased! Her eyes are almost equal.... The left is just one chart behind the right eye now and her muscles are strengthening so no patching needed (yes, patching was as option at first). Apparently she will grow out of this by puberty so it will be some time before we know if she has to wear glasses forever or not. Who knows though because all of this is caused by genes passed down from the parents and seeing as my family all have had good eyes until their thirties, I totally blame Jon's family. Once I started asking questions it turns out our kids will most likely be screwed when it comes to the eye department because of Daddy and the in-laws. There is literally a laundry list of what might lay in our kids future when it comes to their eyes..... Which only makes me wonder what is in store for other parts of them seeing as Jon apparently has a freaking extra bone that grew in his foot (which I still don't believe by the way).

       So the moral of this story about a little girl and her precious pink glasses is to look into your significant other's genetic history before you decide to marry or procreate with them..... Who knows what amazing genes they will get from you and what choice ones they will receive from the other half (just kidding... love you babe)!  Oh, and if you think there is a problem with your child, chances are there is and don't question yourself.... Just take action because you know your kid better than anyone else does!

Until Later....

Friday, February 20, 2015

#2 is 2

 Corby turned two!  Year one has been quite a ride with this blonde tornado.... but we did it folks, we got this little devil to her second birthday!  We celebrated baby girl's birthday a day early since all the kids were on term-break from school.  The Corbs is OBSESSED with animals right now so we indulged her with an Old MacDonald party.... aka, an EIEIO party. 
 
Old MacCorby had a farm... EIEIO!
 
Fun before the party...
 
 
 Let the fun begin...
 
 






 
Happy Birthday to ME...
 
Jon Boy handing out some masks...



 
 
My girls and their suitors.... an Aussie and a Brit.  We could have vacation spots all over the world if you play your cards right, girls... and boys, don't screw it up and you could get an American passport (wink wink)
 
 
Next came the indestructible piñata....



 





 


Come on.... put some muscle behind it Jon...

FINALLY!
 
 

 




A little quiet time before lunch...
 
She LOVED everyone singing to her!

 
 



What a ham....

 
Saying our goodbyes and thank you's....
 

Some good bye love.....and the Corbs was not impressed

 



And that's a wrap folks!
 
Thank you to everyone that made Corby's 2nd birthday a success.  She had a blast, we had a great time and we got a three hour nap out of her... everyone was a big winner yesterday!
 
Until Later...