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Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Can you say, Fox Axel?


The dichotomy of parenting is a crazy thing... trying to be stern with a child, but still comforting.  The roles you play and the hats you wear all while trying not to screw up your kid for life is a challenge.  Meanwhile, all of this is happening while they are annoying the shit out of you and won't stop screaming in that high pitched, "I just saw a member of One Direction" tone.  Everyday I try my best to be a firm parent and teach them lessons that will hopefully make the future years of raising them easier for everyone involved..... Lay the right foundation now and we will have a strong and sturdy house built upon it one day.... Cheesy, but hopefully true.  And all of this is happening while I'm trying not to shake the shit out of them when they are driving me god damn crazy!  Sounds like we should be having a third kid, right? Right? Guess it's too late now!

Now don't get me wrong, parenthood is a daily struggle and challenge, but there are great moments every day as well. The first time your child smiles, when they really hug you hard and long, just hearing "I love you" out of their tiny mouths melting your heart, the way their faces light up when they spot you at school pick up, when they run to you when they are hurt, or the joy and pride they feel when showing you something they have made.

The challenges and rewards balance each other out at this point in the game for me..... Especially with our little white devil, Corby.  But, what makes parenthood worth it and what really pushes it over the edge of for me and Jon is the fun factor.  Parenting isn't always fun, but when it is, we try to make the best of it!  For instance, the first time your kid asks to "blow it up" with a fist bump.... Spinning them around until they almost puke.... Spontaneous family dance parties.... Playing witches and monsters as we run around the house screaming like crazies.... And making your kid cuss without them knowing.

Well, maybe the last one isn't fun for the kid, but Lord knows it is fun for me and Jon.  We did it to Leighton when she was = bitch.  Which was hilarious except when we would walk past the Dubai aquarium in the mall, it was a little bit embarrassing.  Corby now has a great repertoire of words that just get us going.  Many of you know that I have a teenie-tiny bit of a sailor's mouth, however, I am particularly good around my kids.  So hearing them use these words without knowing gives me a good chuckle!

Again, duality..... Making my kid cuss but the little smarty is counting to 14 by herself.... I clearly can't be doing everything wrong with her.  Now as soon as I turned my phone off, Corby proceeded to throw the red play-doh all over the room while screaming at me for God only knows why.  I spent the next 20 minutes dealing with a full on tantrum, three rounds of timeout and then finally breaking her and getting her to pick up the darn play-doh.  But if I hadn't have had that 2 mins of humor, I couldn't have fully dealt with the aftermath.

Parenting is a crazy hard thing.... But hearing your child say "fuck assholes" totally makes it worth it!

Until later....

Monday, April 13, 2015

Little Miss Four Eyes

        Leighton has always loved wearing fake glasses.... Maybe Jon and I should have realized a long time ago that it was her hint that she actually needed them! Well, if it was, we didn't pick up on it! This journey started one night when Jon and I were sitting with the girls while they were at dinner and we started getting goofy. Then Jon started crossing his eyes..... So Leighton started trying to cross her eyes, which was hilarious because she just kind of looked at her nose.  Well, skip ahead a few weeks and Leighton's left eye start to go a little funny....meaning turning into the center a little. We would tell her, "stop messing with your eyes." To which she would reply, "I can't control it!" We thought she was messing with us!  When I was pregnant with Leighton, Jon and I always used to joke that the universe would give us an eyeball with a single finger to drag itself around, because of all the inappropriate jokes we made (make) about people. So I figured, if Leighton isn't doing it on purpose then she has a lazy eye and the universe is just putting itself back into alignment.
      So, I then started asking my friends and her teacher if they noticed anything going on with her eyes and everyone said no. Then finally, one of my friends was with Leighton one day without me and she saw the lazy eye in full effect! Next, her teacher said she had noticed her eye go a little in when really focusing on an object. So off to the pediatric eye doctor we went.
      In typical Dubai fashion, it took over a month to get in, but we were so happy we did! Leighton is basically blind! Well, that's a little dramatic but girlfriend's eyesight is BAD. The first doctor we saw had her read charts from across the room..... With her right eye she could read a few charts and with her left eye she read only one chart. It was heartbreaking. We left with a hefty prescription of +5.5 in her right eye and +6.5 in her left!!! I know, right! She literally couldn't see.  So, off we went the eye glass store and a cool $500+ later, we had glasses! The glasses were the 2nd cheapest frames and middle of the range lenses, but what are you going to do? She needed glasses!
 Who knew the eye glass store could be so fun?!
Leighton has taken to her glasses like a fish to water! She loves wearing them and there was no bribing or pleading to get her to wear them.  She just put them on and hasn't really taken them off, but who can blame her?


      Yes, I do feel bad that she was so blind for so long, but I feel lucky that we caught it as early as we did! We just had her first check up and LC's doctors could not be more pleased! Her eyes are almost equal.... The left is just one chart behind the right eye now and her muscles are strengthening so no patching needed (yes, patching was as option at first). Apparently she will grow out of this by puberty so it will be some time before we know if she has to wear glasses forever or not. Who knows though because all of this is caused by genes passed down from the parents and seeing as my family all have had good eyes until their thirties, I totally blame Jon's family. Once I started asking questions it turns out our kids will most likely be screwed when it comes to the eye department because of Daddy and the in-laws. There is literally a laundry list of what might lay in our kids future when it comes to their eyes..... Which only makes me wonder what is in store for other parts of them seeing as Jon apparently has a freaking extra bone that grew in his foot (which I still don't believe by the way).

       So the moral of this story about a little girl and her precious pink glasses is to look into your significant other's genetic history before you decide to marry or procreate with them..... Who knows what amazing genes they will get from you and what choice ones they will receive from the other half (just kidding... love you babe)!  Oh, and if you think there is a problem with your child, chances are there is and don't question yourself.... Just take action because you know your kid better than anyone else does!

Until Later....